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Tensions, Accepting Life as it is

The tension of chronic illness, aside from any symptoms, is the desire to fight it and the need to accept it.

I’ve been reading Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World by Emily P. Freeman.

It has been a breath of fresh air.

Freeman speaks of fighting the city builder within and nurturing the bench sitter instead. The bench sitter is the one who sits in the moment. Who sits with others in their moments, a witness, not a fixer. Who allows themselves to process their own moments.

Frequently I’ve had to combat my runaway desire for achievement, to reorient myself to what success means for me.

More recently my challenge is to accept things as they are. Accept my body as and where it is. Accept the day as it is. Not to stress over it.

The yoga instructor who helped me to create a sequence reminded me of it, accept your body where it is. (Not where it used to be).

I’ve been trying to take stock of my actions and reactions. Just notice.

And to increase my time to relax and release.

No Tiny Mission here, just an attitude adjustment and a commitment to take all practicable steps to reduce stress in my life. And to try to be more accepting.

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Some Fun with the A to Z Survey

I found this on Counting My Spoons, who in turn found it on another blog; this survey seems to have done the rounds a fair way around the Internet world. So, just for fun, I have filled it in. 
 
A to Z Survey

A – Age: 29
B – Biggest Fear: Hopelessness and that my symptoms would worsen to the point that I couldn’t even attempt a “normal” life.
C – Current Time: 11.30am
D – Drink You Had Last: A coffee using my Nespresso machine with Chai spices thrown in.
E – Easiest Person To Talk To: My husband and the middle of my brothers.
F – Favorite Song: If That’s What it Takes by Celine Dion.
G – Grossest Memory: Fresh in my mind! My son and I are down with a bad cold at the moment and he keeps coughing until he gags. A few nights ago he actually vomited, over me, him, his cot and the floor. I took off his clothes, my dressing gown and then he puked again. Off went the last of the clothes and we had to clean up orange/red (he’d had pasta and sauce for dinner) vomit with a very upset baby.
H – Hometown: Born in Hamilton, New Zealand. We moved down to Hastings and then to Wellington for 20 years and then up to Auckland. I consider Wellington my hometown, despite never wanting to live there again!
I – In Love With: My baby boy. My husband. My dog.

J – Jealous Of: People who can go to sleep and wake up refreshed.
K – Kindest Person You Know: My husband.
L – Longest Relationship: My husband and I have been together for two years, this is the only relationship that counts, it’s forever 🙂
M – Middle Name: Nicole.
N – Number of Siblings: Four!
O – One Wish: To be healed of the pain and fatigue.
P – Person You Spoke To On The Phone Last: My mum.
Q – Question You’re Always Asked: “You don’t work full time?” Mostly by people who have no idea that chronic pain and fatigue make living tough enough, but to do it and be a good mama is even harder, then to add more than 20 hours of work – no thanks!
R – Reason To Smile: My baby. Even thinking about him makes me grin.
S – Song You Last Sang: “Here I am, Lord” the last of the four songs I always sing to my son when he is getting ready to go to sleep.
T – Time You Woke Up: 7.30am
U – Underwear Color: Black.
V – Vacation Destination: Doable and planned: Tauranga, New Zealand (my nana is there). Potentially doable but on the long-term list: Europe. Most dreamed of: Somewhere warm with a spa!
W – Worst Habit: Pushing on when I know my energy levels are gone and I’ll pay for it later.
X – X-Rays You’ve Had: Last, my back. Previously, pretty much everywhere, mostly my neck and back though.
Y – Your Favorite Food: Burgers. Mmm burger…
Z – Zodiac Sign: Libra, but I’m not really into that stuff.

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Experiments

I have previously mentioned my renewed enthusiasm for achieving a higher state of wellness, since I had my baby. I have been thinking, reading, talking and generally mulling over what I’ll do.

I met a friend yesterday who had chronic fatigue for about a year after having glandular fever. She posited an interesting idea. She found that taking an immune system support supplement (with olive leaf, echinacea and vitamin c) helped dramatically reduce her fatigue. When she stopped taking it for a time, she found she got more bugs and higher levels of fatigue.

Her theory is that, while she takes the immune supplements her energy levels are supported. She’s not expending energy to keep her immune system firing.

This makes sense to me. I had just purchased high dose olive leaf and magnesium tablets. I planned to “hit” for one month and see how I felt.

The magnesium is supposed to help my muscle pain and the strong reaction my muscles have to my trying to rebuild my tolerance for exercise. During pregnancy I had fallen to only 20 minutes of walking and no pilates or yoga by the last trimester. The olive leaf was to help me kick the cold that’s been hovering, taking hold and backing off in turns for the last few weeks.

When I have completed this month, I’m going to try the immune support idea. This will be my last trial before I go ahead and get testing for potential vitamin/supplement deficiencies and treat these specifically.

It’s quite exciting to be actively trying to combat my pain and fatigue rather than just trying to get on with my moderated lifestyle!

from www.canstockphoto.com
from www.canstockphoto.com