Last Updated on September 22, 2023 by melissanreynolds
On this blog I have shared my fibromyalgia journey for many years. The path to healing with fibromyalgia will take time and a lot of work. Here is my story.
This is an old post but all of it is still true today. I stand by all of the things I had learnt back then. This is the story of how I went from miserable to thriving, before I fully knew what thriving was.
My story of happiness and wellness didn’t begin until a few years ago. Prior to that, I coped, but only barely.
How it began
The pain began when I was a young teenager and grew over a period of around 10 years. By 17, when I was at university, my shoulders would ache and burn so much at the end of the day that I usually ended them in tears.
No one knew why I had this pain. Some of the doctors intimated that they thought I was making it up.
I was struggling through university, in my final year, when I was hit with an extremely bad bug. Profound fatigue and flu-like symptoms descended upon me like a ton of bricks. There are 9am tutorials from which I can only recall my near inability to keep my eyes open. After a few weeks, I saw a doctor and they gave me antibiotics. It took a further few weeks for the symptoms to recede but the fatigue had made a permanent home.
Doubly burdened, I struggled through the remainder of university, graduated and entered the workforce.
I have since realised that my inability to do, and care about a job for long is related to my illness. I need a lot of passion to drive me through the fog, pain and fatigue to complete my work.
After four years, I was barely coping, feeling just a step away from fainting at every moment. I was sleeping terribly and waking unrefreshed. With nausea and levels of pain at 6/10 by 10am. By 3pm pain levels rose to 8/10, the caffeine needed to keep me from falling flat on the desk caused further nausea; the jaw and temples felt as though someone has a wrench and was turning them constantly tighter. Minutes crept by until 5pm, cue an hour-long bus ride on which to keep from vomiting, falling asleep or crying (or all of the above). The evening was a blur of lethargy, waiting until bedtime.
That was my life. Yet, I managed to look normal (albeit a little paler), complete my work and occasionally force myself to socialise.
After many years of struggling and of tests and regular blood tests revealing nothing, the doctor was able to check the 18 tender points and confirm that I had fibromyalgia. That was all that they did. There was no medicine, no advice, and no referrals. There weren’t many books or websites yet either.
If you want some of my best tips (and practical tools) that I now know and can share with you for coping with chronic pain and fatigue check out the 10 minute toolkit. Use these tools at work and at home to prepare for work.
The part where things turned around
The turning point came when my parents invited me to move to Auckland with them. I was able to put the changes into place that I’d been dreaming of, starting with slightly reduced work hours. Working 3/4 time, in a warm climate helped immensely. So did meeting one of the loves of my life – a ruby Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Coop!
In the first year in Auckland, I didn’t do much more than recover. I worked until 2.30 each day, utilising my skills to support an organisation that worked with vulnerable families. I rested in the afternoons and gradually increased my evening walks with Coop.
The second year was more eventful. I began a writing course (I’d always wanted to do one) and I found an excellent, caring, knowledgeable physiotherapist who introduced me to acupuncture – the only treatment that isn’t akin to torture, and the effects last. Perhaps most importantly, she was the first person ever to understand the extent of what I had been dealing with.
This year, the most exciting things have happened. I started a blog and my own business – these have enabled me to do what I am passionate about. Also, I met the man who would become my husband and the father of my children.
Some of the things that help me on my fibromyalgia journey:
- Working 3/4 time (pacing)
- Eating healthily
- Yoga and stretching
- Walking my dog daily (for the exercise, the time out and the pleasure of being outside)
- Resting (using Yoga Nidra)
- Seeing my physiotherapist every couple of weeks
- and following my passions
Everything I have learnt is summarised in this post here – The Ultimate Guide to Fibromyalgia.
With the ability to look back, I’ve become very protective of my new life. I hardly ever lose words anymore, my memory is improving and so is my spatial awareness. The nausea is far less frequent and headaches only tend to bother me every couple of weeks – and they don’t drive me to bed so often. My neck still causes me trouble, but the extreme tightness, dizziness, nausea and faintness is much rarer.
Most importantly, I am living life, not just coping.
What my fibromyalgia journey taught me
I have a larger capacity for empathy. I have been forced to work only enough to live, in a job I am passionate about with little stress, and I love it. Seeing friends bust their guts working 40-50 hours per week in jobs they don’t love makes me thankful that I have learnt that I don’t need the money or the prestige. I’ve gladly skipped the year living in London, buying fancy cars and clothes – because my dreams lie elsewhere.
I hope I make a difference in the lives of those that intersect with mine. I hope I always know what’s important.
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A word from 2023
There have been so many twists and turns since I wrote this post. But I stand by all of it. I am still mostly mild, despite having had four children in the past 10 years and a major surgery for endometriosis excision and hysterectomy. It’s been a wild ride!
If you’d like to keep up to date with my journey, including where things are at now, join the team for email updates, including my new posts.