Last Updated on September 30, 2023 by melissanreynolds
What was my fourth pregnancy like? What was it like finding out I was having my fourth baby in just seven years? And learning it was a fourth boy?
In short, a roller coaster.
My first reaction to my fourth pregnancy
I’ll be completely honest here, in case someone else needs to hear this, I wasn’t happy at first.
It was 2020, we had just finished our first lockdown. And brought home a brand new puppy. I had been experiencing migraines, I’d had them periodically before but never as many and with the intensity I was experiencing these. I had also just started working again after my third son.
And I’d just rebuilt my strength and flexibility after severe pelvis issues during my third pregnancy. I had trained to be a yoga teacher and was trying to establish an online studio.
In short, the timing was not ideal.
Is it ever ideal to be experiencing morning sickness and picking up puppy poo?
It took me some time to come to terms with it. Especially because the first trimester is fraught with nausea, usual pregnancy symptoms and the fatigue associated with my chronic illness goes through the roof.
My kids were thrilled. And hoping it was a girl.
Thankfully as the symptoms of the first trimester receded and we settled into the new covid rhythms, I adjusted. And became excited about this addition to our family. Obviously it was meant to be.
It must be our girl.
Wrong. He is another healthy, gorgeous wee fellow.
Surprisingly I was never sad he wasn’t a girl. It was more that I was sad I’d never experience having a daughter. Because four children in seven years was quite enough for my body.
In addition to the symphysis pubis disorder and sacroiliac joint dysfunction making a comeback, I became anaemic. By week 30 I was off work and equipped with crutches for getting around outside of the house. One hospital physiotherapist told me outright a fifth wouldn’t go well for my pelvis. Living with my pelvis, I really didn’t need telling!
Logistics of a Fourth Baby
We are lucky in that a fourth doesn’t change too much for us logistically. We can fit him in our house (we can choose if two of the children share a room or we lose the office), the car can cope with one last car seat (sacrificing boot space but we will manage).
My husband and I also have good systems in place for managing our bigger family. In fact, I think we make a pretty good team and will do well.
I have all of my self-care mechanisms in place and well established. Yoga Nidra has been saving me each afternoon.
If you need some help creating your self-care plans then check out the 10 minute self-care challenge here. It is free!
We are also lucky that despite a few lockdowns, we are living near normal lives, pandemic-wise. So, apart from worrying about delivering during an extended lockdown, briefly at week 34, it’s been usual preparation.
There has been grief over my loss of independence, again. Over experiencing the pelvis issues, again. And of going back to sleepless nights. But I can’t imagine it any other way now.
It is my hope that sharing this will ease the heart of any other mama who is surprised and trying to process an unexpected bonus baby too. It’s more than OK to process, to grieve, to worry. You are not alone.
