Last Updated on June 28, 2024 by melissanreynolds
I am a big advocate for creating plans for managing. Planning reduces suffering. It takes the power back into our hands. But what about when we have children to manage too?
We’ve discussed pain management plans and flare plans before. I believe that making an actual written down plan of what you will do during a flare helps us to use it when we need it. When I was further back in my journey I would sink into a flare before I realised I was heading there. Writing down a list of coping mechanisms and activities to do in order of ability made a big difference. Heading off a flare is the best thing we can do to minimise it’s impact on our lives.
Today I want to share the concept of making a flare plan for managing your kids. Let’s prepare ahead of time and make it easier to manage.
It can be as simple as a list of easy activities that you can use as the day requires like a pick and mix bag. Or you could write them in order of your symptom levels (eg. Them watching TV with you lying on the couch at the bottom).
Don’t wait for a flare, these activities are great for daily use. I use many of these activities regularly with my children. I have four boys aged between 3-10. I also have young nieces and nephews. These activities are suitable for the ages of children that require being occupied by us. There are options for varying degrees of our ability too.
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Easy activities for your kids when you’re in a fibromyalgia flare to get your list started
Bath play
This could be as simple as warm water and a few toys. Special bubble bath won’t go astray. You can sit and watch them play. Of course, if you’re feeling poorly, help to dress them would be useful.
A couple of specific ideas could be this octopus throwing game. Or this pipes interactive toy.
Gumboots on and play on the back lawn
The best thing we ever did was a build a playground in our backyard. We also have a trampoline, a few bikes and many balls. When I was pregnant with my third and experiencing severe pelvis issues it was a lifesaver. It’s still awesome!
This one is a five in one toddler set.
Share your experience with them
Reading is a wonderful activity to do together on a flare day, or anytime. I created my book My Mama Has Fibromyalgia for children. You can read this book with your children and let them ask any questions they have. It’s a great conversation starter for why you need their help (in an age-friendly manner).
Colouring
Mess free options are great. But remember crayons, washable markers and colouring pencils are options depending on their ages. My kids have varying options of the mess free packs from Paw Patrol to generic options. They are great!
Fun fact: When I had four children of very different ability levels at home during lockdowns (first year at school, kindy x2 and a newborn) and not one activity made them all happy, I’d colour. They’d all be going crazy pants and I would quietly get out the art box and start colouring. Nine times out of 10, they’d join me and we’d have a nice time colouring together. We have a set of connector pens, Faber Castell colouring pencils and some odd specialty pens that were gifted to me.
Lego/Duplo
For a long time we had a big box in our lounge with different sets of Duplo. There’s a container of smaller Lego in my big boy’s room. If anyone has good ideas for keeping the tiny Lego sets organised, please let me know!
For even more about pregnancy and parenting with fibromyalgia see this resources page!
Subscription box
There are loads of subscription box ideas out there. You can get almost anything according to age and preferences. If you are anything like me and enjoy crafts but don’t want to figure out getting supplies or creating ideas, then the below box might be a great start. But have a good look through the options. They are great to add to birthday and Christmas wish lists.
Additional ideas
- Stories – my kids love being read to. Perhaps time a library outing for when you have help or feel better.
- Nursery rhymes
- Dance party
- Kids yoga (YouTube or made up)
- Play doh – I keep all our Play doh supplies together in a tub for ease of getting it out and packing it up (hint: these make great gifts for kids birthdays)
- Sensory bins
- Cushion obstacle course
- Go to an indoor park and let them play while you have a cuppa
- Baking
- Simon says (or other instruction dance)
- Watch a movie
- Card games (depending on their ages)
Create a special flare box
A box that you only bring out during the days you really are struggling. Add special toys and activities that they can do themselves. This way it feels special to them and they don’t need to know why.
What would you add?
Making the actual plan
What I do for my flare plan is to create a list in ascending order of what I can do according to my ability. I offer the idea to make a similar plan for what to do with the kids when. For example, activities for the worst days, medium and lighter days. However works for you.
How to make your own flare plan (and pain management plan)
Will you create a list and use it?
Love the special flare box idea. I have a box of still-in-the-package Hot Wheels cars that I keep for “just because.” I think I’ll toss one in the flare kit plus a coloring book and markers.
The Dollar Tree and Target dollar section are perfect for this.
Thanks!
Yes!! That sounds perfect. Yes those dollar shops are great for this.